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Mass Horizons

User-centric area to discuss ideas and request mods. Toolset modders may also float ideas for new mods here; if pursued, the thread can be relocated to Mods in Development.

Mass Horizons

Postby Sil » 08 Sep 2016, 00:51

Mass Horizons Mod


This mod started off as my Spectre Authorisations Mod, but I’ve always wanted to do more than just that one mod, so I’m combining my ideas into a single mod that I’ll release portions of it as soon as I can. Without going into too much detail and potentially boring people, I’ll say now that the vast majority of the new content added will be text-based, as Mass Effect modding is a pain in the bum to do and I don’t know if I’ll manage more advanced content. I will try to make this the best I can make it, though.

To spare you a long explanation of what I hope to achieve, here is a list of my aims:

— Make it so the Spectre Terminal and Shadow Broker Terminals are worth looking at.
— Improve the content for each species in the setting, primarily the ‘lesser’ races such as the Hanar, Elcor and Volus, but also less well-known races such as the Raloi and Virtual Aliens.
— Expand war assets to include more logical additions to each race. I’ve managed to plan how to add War Assets for every race except for the Kirik, so far. I cannot guarantee they are 100% loreful, but I am trying to be as logical as I can with any new assets. I won’t add anything absurd.
— Add more consequences to decisions from previous games.
— Expand the immersion of the game.


There is more that I would like to do, but those can be written up if I ever get good enough at modding to do them. I feel that, with help, these can all be achieved, but I am very open to new ideas, to help with writing and planning, and especially for helping putting it together, basically help for anything really. All my writing is being put into a tlk file, and I -think- I understand the BioUI file enough to add all emails, terminal messages and war assets to it. As can be seen in my later posts, I do struggle with things like conditionals. When it comes to new War Assets I am doing my best to avoid conflicting with the Massive Emails and War Assets Mod, so at this time I’m focusing more on military forces than characters.

For those who are interested, the spoiler tag below contains examples of what I would like to add, to give people an idea of what I want to achieve.

Spoiler:
Example Spectre Terminal Authorisations:

— The salarian Special Tasks Group want to field test varren bioweapons against Reaper ground forces. Do you support their scientific endeavour?
— A batarian anti-Shepard movement has been established on the Citadel, will you authorise planting false evidence against their ringleaders in the hopes of turning their followers against them?
— A Hacking VI has achieved full AI status and has been cornered by C-Sec, do you allow it to survive?
— With the number of refugees on the Citadel growing every day, and supplies dwindling, do you authorise C-Sec to forcibly remove all citizens with violent criminal records from the station?


Example War Assets:

Image
Portable Keystone Mechanism
Military Strength:
+12

Based on the Keystone used in krogan rites of passage, PKM’s are disposable tools used to lure thresher maws to attack regions overrun with husk activity. Essentially they are sonic beacons that send vibrations to thresher maws burrowing through the earth. These then move at incredible velocities towards the beacon, where they will rise up and attack anything in the surrounding area that they believe are encroaching on their territory. Early field tests have yielded positive results.



Image
Triton ADS Pack
Military Strength:
+15

Hanar economic and technological progress has been almost entirely separated from the rest of Council Space from the time they first established contact with the Citadel. Clothes, omni-tools, even ships are just not compatible with other species because of the differences in their biology, leaving little to trade between humanoids and the hanar. When they rescued the drell they needed to produce items suitable for them to use, and although their attempts have been admirable, they have been forced to turn to external sources for design and manufacture. Triton ADS’s are submersible mechs that were once used by the Systems Alliance but they have fallen into disuse. The hanar originally bought these disused mechs to help the drell work alongside them underwater, with the threat of the Reapers many have been retrofitted with advanced weaponry to provide heavy weapon support to their small military units.



Image
Mechanized Infantry
Military Strength:
+10

Evolving in a high-gravity environment where any fall can be lethal has made elcor psychology deeply cautious and conservative, making them unsuitable for spur of the moment military situations. When they were only bound to Dekuuna this was not a problem, but expanding into a dangerous galaxy has forced the elcor to evolve their traditional views of war. Their strategists have developed thousands of pre-conceived gambits, solutions and strategies to any situation they can predict, the most suitable of these are then chosen by sophisticated combat VI’s built into elcor suits of armor. Elcor traditionally enter battle heavily armed and armored, with combat VI’s dictating their strategy and targets, but it has become common for each elcor warrior to be accompanied in battle by a squad of mechs. These are networked to the combat VI’s that guide their weapons, allowing them to enact more advanced strategies.



Examples of Expanded Consequences

Although I have some grander ideas of what I’d like to -eventually- achieve for this, an example of one of my ideas is to improve the fallout of the hanar diplomat assignment. If Zymandis manages to disable the kahje defence grid then almost immediately we’re told through the news screens that the hanar homeworld has been destroyed. When I first saw this on youtube it felt absurd, why such a quick destruction for such an important race, and why do we hear nothing else on it all? It’s crazy. My idea was to edit the conditional for that news story to activate until a small series of other bits of text-based news have arrived, but then to also have further messages later in the game about how those very few surviving hanar and drell are acting with their homeworld destroyed. I’d like to add emails, war asset changes, shadow broker messages, hell I’d even implement a change to the cost of items to reflect the economic cost of a loss of a trading network (even one that is small). I’m not necessarily going to add all those things to the game, but I want to give a fair idea of the kind of consequences I’m looking into expanding.


Examples of Expanded Immersion

I have two examples of ideas that I have been planning out, these are both videos being added to the game that run when appropriate. Not all my immersion improving ideas are videos, but I feel these make sense to write about to give an idea of what I would like to do.

Citadel Arrival/Departure Video

In Mass Effect 1 and 2 we get to witness the Normandy docking at the Citadel, but also disembarking as well. Although this is a repetitive feature, I always felt that it made the game feel more like a single world to run around rather than separate sections of a game. Mass Effect 2’s loading screens didn’t help this, in truth, and for the most part Mass Effect 3 handles it vastly better. However, the generic Citadel arrival video just doesn’t make me feel like I’m arriving at a location, it makes me feel that it is a loading screen to boot up a level. The departure video is worse, as you don’t even get to see the Normandy leaving, you just see the Normandy in space. My intention here is to use the arrival video from ME2 and splice it together with the generic arrival to the Citadel of ME3, which I believe will improve immersion as we’ll see our characters docking. I’d also want to implement a proper departure video based on a slightly altered ME2 Citadel departure video.

Hades’ Nexus: Prothean Sphere

I’m one of those people who felt that the idea of war assets is pretty genius, but the execution of how to attain them was terrible, as was the lack of any pay off at the end for all your hard work collecting. I cannot fix the pay off at the end, and I can’t make attaining them into playable levels (which would be awesome, but alas!), but I think I know of an idea of how to make certain war assets more exciting when you do find them. Primarily I’m thinking of the ones that are linked to those eavesdrop assignment missions, such as the Prothean Sphere. Prothean spheres aren’t exactly uncommon in these games, and the best example (in my opinion) of this is from Project Firewalker: Prothean Site (as seen here). Using a video taken of that scene, but carefully altered to match ME3, it would be pretty perfect to show that your team is actually doing something rather than just getting a little popup saying you collected the item. Not all war assets could get these, obviously, but a few of the assignments could and I feel that’d be worth doing.


I should note that this mod will be best when combined with Expanded Galaxy Mod, although this is not compulsory I am designing my war asset values to run in line with those of EGM, so it will make more sense when they are together rather than using my mod alone. The reason for this is that I won’t play Mass Effect 3 without EGM anymore.

Thanks for reading if you have. I can’t promise I’ll make all of these, but I’m going to try my best to do so. If anyone feels some of these ideas are great and want to use them then, by all means, use them! I’ll love to see your work if you do. But I’ll keep working on mine too.

Currently Working On: Trying to get conditionals to work and planning on how to expand the Hanar and Drell war assets.
Last edited by Sil on 29 Oct 2016, 22:19, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Conditionals, I think

Postby Kinkojiro » 08 Sep 2016, 01:12

Yes. You need to look at the file with the POI and its LOC_INT. It means searching around the BioD_Kro001 files for the right one.

You will see a sequence that starts with a SeqEvent_Used and fires an ambient dialogue. Somewhere along that chain may be a execute transition. This sets a bool telling the game that the dialogue has fired. You need to look up the state transition and its outcome in the natives editor. The alternative is the bool is set in the dialogue file. Using dialogue editor see if there are any state transitions referenced.

Then you can take that bool and make a conditional that says only send email if it is set to True.
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Spectre Authorisations Mod - Update: Border Checks

Postby Sil » 17 Sep 2016, 15:58

OLD MOD


Spectre Authorisations Mod

Introduction

I’ve decided that this will be the first mod I will make for the game, and my success or failure in this will determine what I challenge myself to adding afterwards. As is probably clear, I have a tonne of ideas, so I’m hoping this will be the beginning of a great time modding the game for me. The idea for this mod is to add different Spectre Terminal Authorisations to the game. Which doesn’t sound like much, but this is a first mod so it’s not going to be an easy ride and it will be difficult.

I am going to use this as training, I’ll start with smaller ideas that are relatively simple in design (even if putting them into practice isn’t simple) and go for the more complex ones once I have a handle on those. I think this is the best way for me to learn the ropes when it comes to modding. I want the authorisations in this mod to be questionable in character, things that in a normal war you’d never consider but in a Reaping where the situation grows evermore desperate, they begin to sound like good ideas for winning. The authorisations are split into three types; Simple, Advanced and Complex, which determines just how much content they receive. For now I'm keeping many of them under wraps as they are in the process of being written rather than in a complete state. Here is the layout, as follows:


Simple

— *Hidden* Post Priority: Citadel I
— Authorising the deployment of varren bioweapons being researched by the Salarians. Post Priority: Sur’Kesh; requires listening to the varren research logs
— A batarian anti-Shepard movement has risen among the batarian refugees on the Citadel, their problems lie with him destroying the Alpha Relay, but also claiming he is racist and will not do anything to help the batarians. You can authorise a smear campaign against them to discredit their suggestions. Post Priority: Attican Traverse: Krogan Team/The Rachni
— A Krogan scientist wants to train Pyjaks to plant bombs onto Reaper brutes, harvesters and ravagers, similar to how the russians trained dogs to bomb tanks in WW2.
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Citadel II
— C-Sec wants to bring in invasive security checks for human refugees to attempt to find Cerberus agents. These border on being inhumane. Post Priority: Citadel II
— The Krogan want help with developing portable sonic technology that would lure thresher maws into reaper controlled areas after witnessing the power of Kalros against the Reaper on Tuchanka. Although this will work at first, it will soon go very wrong when the Reapers start to turn the thresher maws into husks. Post Priority: Geth Dreadnought
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Horizon


Advanced

— *Hidden* Post Priority: Palaven
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Geth Dreadnought
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Rannoch
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Rannoch
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Thessia
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Thessia
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Horizon



Complex

— *Hidden* Post Priority: Palaven
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Sur’kesh
— *Hidden* Post Citadel Archives: Escape
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Tuchunka
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Geth Fighter Squadrons
— *Hidden* Post Priority: Citadel III



I’ll write up how I want each one to go, then I’ll try and do it. It will probably take me some time, this is a type of modding I’ve never done before so I’m currently a complete noob at it. The reason I need feedback is because I want this mod to sit comfortably alongside many of the other mods in terms of quality, I'm using EGM as a base so this will have to be written on par with the additions that mod has made. The feedback I require is whether or not what I have written sounds good enough. Here is the terminal message I revealed in the list:

Varren Research

Spoiler:
Idea

I came across this idea when I played ME3 with the EGM mod installed, I must have bypassed the varren research logs on my original playthroughs but once hearing them I found the idea very interesting. Of course, it might be interesting but I could never see this plan working out for the best (much like other salarian plans like uplifting the krogan or uplifting the yahg). I like this because it not only shows some of the more insane methods of war proposed by the salarians, but it also punishes any player stupid enough to authorise dropping packs of genetically enhanced varren onto a colony world!

Requirements

The play must listen to the Varren research logs during Priority: Sur’kesh to receive this.

Spectre Terminal Message

Version 1

Bioweapon Field Test

The STG is always researching new exotic tactics to win their wars, and they believe the Reaper War is the perfect environment to test some of their more unique experiments. Their recent research involves varren that have been enhanced through training, drugs and genetic manipulation being used to harass an enemy in the field. They want to drop packs of them onto a colony under siege, these would be trained to only target Reaper husks, but their efforts have been blocked. Spectre authorisation would bypass the blocks on the field test.


Version 2

The STG is always researching new exotic tactics to win their wars, and they believe the Reaper War is the perfect environment to perform some unique experiments. Recent research involves enhanced varren, which through training, drugs and genetic manipulation, would be used to harass the enemy in the field. Their intention is to drop varren onto a colony under siege, each pack having been trained to only target Reaper husks. However, the field test has been blocked. Spectre authorisation would bypass this and allow the trial to go ahead.


Consequences

War Asset Updates: Received after Priority: Tuchanka

Minor Colonial Support
Military Strength:
-3

A small colony in the Attican Traverse has gone silent, losing the Alliance a vital supply of platinum.


Salarian Special Tasks Group
Military Strength:
-2

An STG research team has been wiped out on a colony world when they field tested a varren bioweapon.


Email: Received after Priority: Tuchanka

Field Test

From: Lieutenant Tolan

Commander Shepard,

The STG deployed the varren biological weapon on a colony in the Terminus Systems. A field test that I was told you had authorised. Our experiment focused around training the varren to register the husks as their primary prey. In addition to an increased size and ferocity through the use of steroids and embedded adrenaline injectors. I will not bore you with the details.

The experiment did not go as we had simulated. Only 11% of casualties that can be directly attributed to the varren were their intended targets. The other 89% were colonists and our unfortunate STG team. The varren pack has escaped into the wild. There is no need to put them down, the Reapers will soon do that job for us.

We are not deeming this mission a success. Not to worry, we have not fully written off the project.

Lieutenant Tolan
STG


Pyjak Bombs

Spoiler:
Idea

Before anyone feels this is absurd, I’ll refer you to the anti-tank dogs used by the russians, the american bat bombs, or other examples of military animals. There are many examples of animals being put to use throughout history for war, and in the mass effect universe we still see it happen with the krogan who favour bringing varren to the battlefield. Although this is more on the silly spectrum of spectre terminal messages, I still feel it is relevant and different.

Requirements

This would require the player to have completed Priority: Tuchunka, so the Krogan are on board with the war effort.

Spectre Terminal Message

I'm providing two variations on the description, obviously I'll have to pick one.

Pyjak Detonation Devices

Pyjaks are a pest species that have spread throughout the galaxy. A krogan scientist has demanded funds, researchers and a training facility to turn them into living bombs, with the hope they would be used against husk forces. He believes that implanted devices would force them to run towards the most dangerous husk variants, the device would then detonate once they are within a certain radius. The krogan do not currently have the means to use this strategy, but authorisation from a spectre would get the scientist all he needs to put the plan into action.


Pyjak Detonation Devices

Pyjaks are a pest species that have spread throughout the galaxy. A krogan scientist has demanded funds, researchers and a training facility to turn them into living bombs. The pyjak would be implanted with VI-controlled devices would force them to run towards the most dangerous husk variants, the device would then detonate once they are within a certain radius. The krogan do not currently have the means to use this strategy, but authorisation from a spectre would get the scientist all he needs to put the plan into action.


Consequences

War Asset: Received after Priority: Perseus Veil

Pyjak Detonation Devices
Military Strength:[/b] +4

A nightmare for animal rights activists, Pyjak Detonation Devices carry on an ancient tradition among sentients of bringing animals to the battlefield. Implanted with VI-controlled incendiary devices, these pyjaks creep up to Reaper husks before exploding at their feet, crippling and setting husks aflame. Reaper forces have currently proven incapable of countering the threat posed by these space monkeys, turning them from a galactic pest into a useful weapon of war.


Email: Received after Priority: Perseus Veil

ANN Alert: New Article on “Reapers; Pyjak; Animal Rights”

From: Alliance News Network Information Partners

The Galactic Humane Society has announced its intent to petition the Council over what it calls “significant animal rights issues” following reports that the krogan have been using pyjaks as explosive devices. Pyjaks, commonly known as “Space Monkeys”, are an invasive species that have found a foothold on at least a dozen worlds and are capable of constructing colonies of rough shelters, which has given xenobiologists the impression they are more intelligent than they first appear. The GHS had this to say in a prepared statement:

“We understand that the galaxy is facing an army of genocidal starships, but that’s no excuse for the significant animal rights horrors being committed by the krogan. How would they like it if someone threw them against giant robotic monsters? They need to remember that animals are people too!”

The Council and Systems Alliance have declined to comment on the reports or the stance taken by the Galactic Humane Society, but when we posed that question to a krogan spokesman, he had only this to say:

“Bring them on, krogan eat monsters for breakfast.”


Batarian Justice

Spoiler:
Idea

This issue deals with the batarians and how they are perceived by the galaxy, and it’s current figurehead, Commander Shepard. Not only that but the ringleaders want some kind of justice for Shepard destroying the Bahok system. I chose this one because we see few people giving a damn about Shepard killing 300,000 batarians and destroying an entire star system, and how sometimes ignoring ‘justice’ is the right call.

Requirements

This spectre terminal message will arrive once the player has completed Tuchunka Turian Rescue, the message has nothing at all to do with that mission but it feels like a suitable amount of story has passed for it to be an issue.

Spectre Terminal Message

”Justice for Bahok” Activists

An unwelcome side effect of batarian refugees on the Citadel has been the appearance of activist groups decrying how the galaxy is racist towards them. One group, “Justice for Bahok”, has demanded that Commander Shepard be brought to trial for genocide in the Bahok system and for his frequent racist actions against the batarian people. Unsurprisingly the activists are gaining some media attention, and though they are unlikely to achieve their aims, their activities are a risk to galactic unity. Spectre authorisation could enable a smear campaign against them in the media, which should discredit their leadership and turn citizens against their point of view.


Consequences

Email: Received after Attican Traverse: Krogan Team/The Rachni

ANN News Alert: New Article on “Bahok; Batarians”

From: Alliance News Network Information Partners

Advocates have pulled away from the batarian activist group “Justice for Bahok” after it emerged that organisers had heavily invested in the slaver planet Logasiri. Found in the Batalla system, Logasiri is a batarian world infamous for having the some of the most horrifying conditions for slaves in the galaxy. The person who broke the story was Westerlund News reporter Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, a woman who, until recently, was only famous for her interviews with human Spectre Commander Shepard and her stubborn attitude.

Since the exposé C-Sec has taken “Justice for Bahok” into custody for violating numerous Sapient Rights issues and on charges related to terrorism. In a surprising twist, there has been a noticeable increase in batarian volunteers for the war, with many citing a need to prove their species being worthy of Citadel protection after their leaders have repeatedly damaged their relations with the rest of the galaxy.


War Asset Updates: Received after Attican Traverse: Krogan Team/The Rachni

Khalisah al-Jilani
Military Strength:
+2

Her exposé on the batarian activist group “Justice for Bahok” has seen a 10% increase in her viewership, interviews and propaganda through her network has proven to be more effective.


Batarian Fleet
Military Strength:
+5

There has been an increase in refugee volunteers to serve in the few surviving ships of the batarian fleet following the arrest of slavers on the Citadel, many citing the desire to prove themselves in the eyes of a galaxy that disdains them.


Portable Keystones

Spoiler:
Ideas

The Keystone was used to summon a Thresher Maw during rites of passage on Tuchanka and after seeing the thresher maw attacking the Reaper it feels like a natural step for krogan to try and use the thresher maws against husk forces. They are found on numerous worlds, and its not the first time methods have been used to lure threshers against people, for example; Akuze. This isn’t a moral problem like some of the other spectre terminal messages, but it adds another example of the unusual methods people use to try and win war.

Requirements

This spectre terminal requires Priority: Geth Dreadnought to have been completed, just because it gives the impression that more time has passed and the krogan have been thinking of new ways of winning the war.

Spectre Terminal Message

Portable Keystone Mechanism

Informants from Tuchanka have uncovered attempts by a krogan shaman to utilise their keystone ritual against the Reapers, by luring thresher maws to areas of prolific husk activity. This new tactic stems from eyewitness reports of the thresher maw Kalros dragging a Reaper beneath the earth, but the krogan are struggling to create a portable version of the keystone. Spectre authorisation would send a team of researchers to Tuchanka to finish work on the device, allowing it to be field tested.


Consequences

Email: Received after Priority: Rannoch

Keystone

From: Shaman Urdnot

I’ll never get the hang of these things, asari-designed crap.

The Keystone is in ruins, your ‘technicians’ tore it apart to build their thresher lures. Our history and customs torn down once again. No change there, krogan always value survival over tradition, I thought humans were different.

The PKM’s, as your damned technicians call it, or Keystones to everyone else have hit the husks hard. Only madmen would run into the middle of Reaper territory to plant one of those things. When the earth shakes and bodies fly, you know it was worth it. One tradition is gone, but sacrificing it might have bought us the chance to make up new ones.

We’ll take them to Menae next, the turians are going to **** themselves!

Shaman Urdnot


New War Asset: Received after Priority: Rannoch

Portable Keystone Mechanism
Military Strength:
+15

Based on the Keystone used in krogan rites of passage, PKMs are disposable tools used to lure thresher maws to attack regions overrun with husk activity. Essentially, they are sonic beacons that send vibrations to thresher maws burrowing through the earth. These then move at incredible velocities towards the beacon, where they will rise up and attack anything in the surrounding area which they believe are encroaching on their territory. Early field tests have yielded promising results.


Email: Received after Priority: Citadel III

New Husk Variants

From: General Corinthus

Commander Shepard:

I am under the impression that you authorised research into the Portable Keystone Mechanisms that the krogan have been testing on Menae. I wish this e-mail was praising you for your foresight, but I believe you lacked any when you decided on this course of action.

The first dozen tests were so impressive that they even had me convinced, they must also have convinced the Reapers as they have turned all thresher maws they can find into husks. I have had reports from other turian controlled worlds that have used these PKM’s and they are reporting the same; the Reapers are now using thresher maws.

With respect, do not authorise the krogan to test further weapons on our worlds without our consent.

General Corinthus
Menae Command


War Asset Updates: Received after Priority: Citadel III

Portable Keystone Mechanism
Military Strength:
-12

Although initially showing great promise, their use has mostly been discontinued after the Reapers began to convert thresher maws into husks. The huskified thresher maws have been currently been restricted to the planets that they had lived within, much to the relief of ground troops across the galaxy.


Krogan Clans
Military Strength:
-4

The krogan have suffered significant casualties on worlds where the Portable Keystone Mechanism has been deployed to thresher maw husks.


Clan Urdnot
Military Strength:
-4

The krogan have suffered significant casualties on worlds where the Portable Keystone Mechanism has been deployed to thresher maw husks.


Turian 43rd Marine Division
Military Strength:
-4

The turians have suffered significant casualties on worlds where the Portable Keystone Mechanism has been deployed to thresher maw husks.


Palaven Auxiliary
Military Strength:
-4

The turians have suffered significant casualties on worlds where the Portable Keystone Mechanism has been deployed to thresher maw husks.


Border Checks

Spoiler:
Idea

The idea behind this is that as Cerberus is a human only organisation and so it makes sense that aliens would want to regulate humans arriving on the Citadel. The moral ambiguity in this one comes from the idea that the checks that would border on being inhumane to the refugees, but is it worth bringing safety at the cost of emotional distress? Much like the surveillance spectre message, this will have a mixed result, but unlike that one which ends up in the positive, this will end up marginally more in the negative. It will still get results though, and I feel the choice is an interesting one.

Requirements

Much like the Citadel Surveillance spectre terminal message, this is given after the Cerberus Coup and is a direct response to it from the turian members of C-Sec.

Spectre Terminal Message

Border Checks

Turian officers in C-Sec have put forward a motion that refugees should undergo interrogation, body checks, deep scans and other intense procedures to root out potential terrorist agents. Though they are considered an understandable response to the threat posed by Cerberus, it is the fact that these measures would be targeted at humans alone which has led to outrage by the human section of C-Sec. So far the inhumane measures have been blocked, but the threat of Cerberus is severe and they could protect the Citadel from infiltration. Spectre authorisation would force the motion through and implement the border checks immediately.


Consequences

War Asset Updates: Received after Priority: Geth Dreadnought

Citadel Fleet
Military Strength:
-4

A direct response to the Citadels latest security checks has been an increase in banditry in the Serpent Nebula. Many of those caught are humans who were refused asylum on the Citadel who claim it was the only course left to them.


Bekenstein Industrial Support
Military Strength:
-3

Citadel border inspections have made it more difficult for human colonies to trade goods on the Citadel.


Minor Colonial Support
Military Strength:
-2

Citadel border inspections have made it more difficult for human colonies to trade goods on the Citadel.


Citadel Defence Force
Military Strength:
+3

There has been an increase in turian applicants for C-Sec after severe anti-human border checks were implemented on the Citadel.


Email: Received after Priority: Rannoch

ANN Alert: New Article on “C-Sec; Refugees; The Reaper War”

From: Alliance News Network Information Partners

The aftermath of the cerberus coup attempt saw the Council tighten security in the hopes of bringing safety and reassurance to the populace. The majority of citizens welcomed these measures, with a poll taken shortly after their introduction hitting 94% support, a level of unprecedented endorsement that has not been seen since the crackdown on rogue AI after the Morning War.

However, recent leaks suggest that these measures are not all that they seem. It has emerged that the new border checks are exclusive to humans arriving on the station, and that they have been described as “invasive”. Pro-human and civil rights groups have petitioned the Council looking for answers to why human refugees have been interrogated, strip-searched, deep-scanned and had their children taken away for hours at a time.

Though the Council is yet to comment directly on this situation, they have reiterated their support for C-Sec’s efforts to keep the Citadel safe during this interstellar crisis.


War Asset Update: Received after Priority: Citadel III

Citadel Defence Force
Military Strength:
+4

C-Sec has noted an increase in volunteer informants among refugees since tighter border checks were implemented.


Cerberus Research Data
Military Strength:
+7

C-Sec border inspections have uncovered a number of cerberus agents attempting to infiltrate the station. Interrogations have had little success beyond discovering the location of a cerberus laboratory. After an initial raid recovered research data, the base was destroyed from orbit by a turian cruiser.


If anyone has any comments or ideas, please post them. If people like what is already shown, I'll get another ready and reveal that, and once that's at an acceptable quality, I'll add more, etc. Once all the planning is done, I'm going to try making it. *nervous as he has no idea how*

Looking forward to people's comments ^^
Last edited by Sil on 29 Oct 2016, 22:16, edited 9 times in total.
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Re: Spectre Authorisations Mod - Feedback Needed

Postby CreeperLava » 17 Sep 2016, 17:16

I like the idea of seeing more content being added to the game. You seem to know a lot about the lore, hopefully we'll get to learn something, too :).

However, I think a bit more polish on the description text is needed. Here is a version that I believe is more pleasant to read (my subjective opinion, of course).
The STG is always researching new exotic tactics to win their wars, and they believe the Reaper War is the perfect environment to perform some unique experiments. Recent research involves enhanced varrens, which through training, drugs and genetic manipulation, would be used to harass the enemy in the field. For instance, packs of varren would be dropped onto a colony under siege, trained to only target Reaper husks. However, their efforts have currently been blocked. Spectre authorization would bypass the blocking and allow field testing.
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Re: Spectre Authorisations Mod - Feedback Needed

Postby Sil » 17 Sep 2016, 21:42

That's fair enough. I've gone through the description enough times that it's hard to spot any more mistakes or problems with the flow when reading it. I've read your edit, and I think the sweet spot lies somewhere between mine and yours. I think the first two sentences of your re-write are an improvement, so I'm including those but the rest of it might need a bit of each. Here's what I've cobbled together from the two:

The STG is always researching new exotic tactics to win their wars, and they believe the Reaper War is the perfect environment to perform some unique experiments. Recent research involves enhanced varren, which through training, drugs and genetic manipulation, would be used to harass the enemy in the field. Their intention was to test their theories by dropping packs of varren onto a colony under siege, these would have been trained to only target Reaper husks. However, their efforts have been blocked. Spectre authorisation would bypass the blocks and allow field testing.


How's that?

And when it comes to the rest, I'll be trying to add some lore in, but mostly it's presenting difficult scenarios for Shep to look into. I guess I want to make it feel more like there was a bigger conflict than those few levels we actually see. I think having more of the difficult decisions to make is a good idea. Most of these are as loreful as I can get, but some are educated guesses at the kind of scenarios that might happen during a galactic war.
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Re: Spectre Authorisations Mod - Feedback Needed

Postby CreeperLava » 18 Sep 2016, 07:30

Their intention was to test their theories by dropping packs of varren onto a colony under siege, these would have been trained to only target Reaper husks.

What I don't like about this sentence is that you only use the same pronouns (these, their), and it doesn't feel smooth like it could be if you varied the way of referring to the STG/varren. It's what I tried to do in my version, get rid of pronouns.
Also, not sure which of "blocks" or "blocking" is correct. I'm not a native speaker, I just thought "blocking" sounded better.
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Re: Spectre Authorisations Mod - Feedback Needed

Postby Sil » 18 Sep 2016, 10:16

The reason I changed your version was because, to me, it read more as if they were saying what they might do in a real battlefield scenario rather than exactly what they will do to test the research they've been conducting. I want the player to know for certain that if they authorise this message then they are putting a colony at risk. I could trim it down a bit and rephrase things:

Their intention is to drop varren onto a colony under siege, each pack would have been trained to only target Reaper husks.


This would cut away the second "their" pronoun and replace "these" with "each pack", which still contains a pronoun but one that has not been used elsewhere in the paragraph.

Also, when it comes to block/blocking, blocking is "the action of blocking or obstructing something or someone in particular", it is something that is happening at that particular time. But because Spectre authorisation isn't what is blocking it, the word blocking wouldn't work in that part of the sentence. Although if the previous one was rewritten to include what was stopping the tests, then the word blocking would be correct there. I think this bit needs to be rewritten entirely really, if there is some confusion. Maybe this:

However, the field test has been barred, Spectre authorisation would cut through the red tape allowing the trial to go ahead.
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Re: Spectre Authorisations Mod - Feedback Needed

Postby CreeperLava » 18 Sep 2016, 11:58

Their intention is to drop varren onto a colony under siege, each pack would have been trained to only target Reaper husks.

Wouldn't "each pack having been trained to only target Reaper husks." sound better ?

However, the field test has been barred, Spectre authorisation would cut through the red tape allowing the trial to go ahead.

I think this is even more confusing^^. "cut through the red tape" is an expression that is probably not known by many non native english speakers (including myself :P).
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Re: Spectre Authorisations Mod - Feedback Needed

Postby Sil » 18 Sep 2016, 12:06

That's a good point on that first bit, so I'll pop it into the description. So far we've got:

The STG is always researching new exotic tactics to win their wars, and they believe the Reaper War is the perfect environment to perform some unique experiments. Recent research involves enhanced varren, which through training, drugs and genetic manipulation, would be used to harass the enemy in the field. Their intention is to drop varren onto a colony under siege, each pack having been trained to only target Reaper husks.


We just need to sort out that last bit. If it is more confusing because of that expression I can remove it.

However, the field test has been barred, Spectre authorisation would bypass this and allow the trial to go ahead.

However, the field test has been blocked. Spectre authorisation would bypass this and allow the trial to go ahead.


Either of those work for you at all?
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Re: Spectre Authorisations Mod - Feedback Needed

Postby CreeperLava » 18 Sep 2016, 14:44

2nd option sounds good to me !
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